If a man runs through his backyard in his underwear, but nobody's there to see him because it's during a hurricane, does it count?

I think the trees are out to get me.
Specifically, I think they’re out for my car. They feel they’ve been cheated for too long and they want blood.
Just last week a limb fell out of a tree behind my apartment and dented my car. A tree threw a stick at me Wednesday while I was taking out the garbage.
They’re angry because my car keeps cheating them, getting past them, squeezing under, around and through them.
Last year I woke up one morning around 5 a.m. during one of the hurricanes that came through the Southeast week after week after week. I figured I probably ought to be listening to the scanner to see if there was any breaking news.
But the scanner was in my car in the backyard, and it was raining outside, and I didn’t want to get my clothes wet, but I wasn’t wearing my clothes at 5 a.m. and it was still dark out anyways….
So I lay in bed listening to the scanner whisper sweet nothings into my ear.
Ain’t photojournalism romantic?
A call went out about a tree in the road on N.C. 150, something like 100 yards up from Buffalo Creek. I figured I was already having such a splendid morning, why not make it even better by taking pictures in the rain.
So I got in my car, having put on some clothes, and drove out towards Waco.
After passing the creek I started counting off the distance. I’ve done a fair deal of running, hiking and assorted other stupid human tricks that make you painfully aware just how far 100 yards is.
I’ll guess a football player can tell you down to the millimeter. It’s a game of inches.
A mile or so later I still hadn’t found the tree in the road so I figured it had already been cleaned up and I started looking for a place to turn around.
That’s when I hit the tree.
Actually, I just grazed its fluffy end, and that’s what has the trees ticked at my car – we keep getting away.
So I pulled over, got out my camera, and started taking pictures of other people hitting the tree.
Now I carry flares in my car.
But seriously, as winter approaches and driving conditions grow occasionally somewhat tricky, the NC DOT has some driving tips for snow and ice:
One trick about driving in wintry conditions is not to drive. Stay home. I live close enough to the office to walk if I need to.
If you have to drive, be sure you have a feel for the road and slow down. Way down, chop it in half or more on snow and slow to a crawl on ice, according to the DOT. Give yourself more time and space to stop, turn and accelerate, and keep an eye out for particularly nasty patches.
And remember. You may be driving a big fancy 4x4 SUV that has two more drive wheels than my Camry. But we’ve all got the same number of brakes, so take it easy.
I’ll put some more of the DOT’s advice on my blog, jderrickstar.blogspot.com.