Bar Review on Franklin Street....

Let's hear it for institutional memory! A couple years ago this was written by one of our fine law students, Brian Ernst, and I think the wisdom still rings true....

Brian's Bar Review - East Siiiide, Pt 1

Today I will address a topic of great importance to incoming law students. Those of you from outside the Chapel Hill area should pay particular attention to the present discussion as this information will prove to be invaluable to surviving your first year.

As you've likely heard, the law school organizes a weekly "Bar Review" during which a bar is chosen and the few law students with social lives assemble at the establishment. It's a great way to meet people you might not normally get to see, such as people in other colleges as well as students outside of law school who aren't nearly as neurotic as you are. This email should also assist in figuring out where these places are if you're not familiar with the area.

So... it's time once again for Brian's Bar Review, or BBR (not ever to be confused with PBR upon pain of death). In today's newsletter I will be providing a brief analysis of the strengths, weaknesses, and overall quality of bars on the eastern side of town. "East" generally refers to everything east of Columbia Street, which runs perpendicular to Franklin at one of Chapel Hill's main crossroads. It includes the more well-known hangouts such as Top of the Hill, and there's definitely a different crowd between West Franklin bars (generally more alternative) and those on East (more mainstream).

* NOTE WELL: The views expressed herein represent only the opinions of the author and not necessarily of CLISA or UNC Law, though they should.

Without further ado, here's a bar-by-bar breakdown of East Franklin's major establishments:

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GOLDIE'S

Location: Goldie's is actually located within a structure housing a walkway from Franklin to Rosemary (the street running parallel north of Franklin). Look for the Bank of America ATM and go through the doorway to the left. Walk straight ahead and you'll run right into it.

Strengths: Goldie's has an outside area which is awesome for most of the year. They usually have decent drink specials, and there are also lots of booths at which a group may sit. They have a little dance floor tucked away in the back on which only the drunkest of the drunk dance.

Weaknesses: Like some of the bars on East Franklin, there's a certain element of snobbery in the air that's tough to ignore. Also, on busy nights, the inside area can get quite crowded. But the absolute worst thing about Goldie's is the bar staff. Unless you know them by name, expect to wait several minutes for anything other than a beer. Also, never expect to be charged the right amount for what you've ordered. I've found that what shows up on your tab often bears no resemblance whatsoever to what you ordered. Since what they charge seems completely arbitrary, I usually order a more expensive drink and hope they charge me for a soda. Sadly it's happened several times already.

Drinks: 2/5; Atmosphere: 3/5; Service: 1/5; Overall: 3/5. Your typical East Franklin bar.

EAST END

Location: On the corner of East Franklin and Henderson St. It's got a tarp outside reading "East End Martini Bar," which pretty much clues you in on what to expect inside.

Strenghts: The obvious forte of East End are the cocktails and other drinks you can order. They're mixed well (rarely short on alcohol) and taste great, though they can be pricy. Fortunately they usually have a handful of them on special.

Weaknesses: Besides usually having to pay a cover for a subpar band - I have terrible memories of one performing lounge versions of Led Zeppelin classics - East End charges a lot for drinks. Due to its narrow layout, the bar also gets quite congested on weekends and it's generally tough to manuever while holding margaritas. However, there is a waiting staff that will bring them to you and I highly recommend taking advantage of them (so to speak).

Drinks: 4/5; Atmosphere: 2/5; Service: 3/5; Overall: 2/5. Between their drinks and your casebooks you'll be refinancing soon enough.

TOP OF THE HILL

Location: At the corner of Columbia and Franklin. Note that you have to enter through a door along South Columbia and climb the steps or use the elevator. I recommend taking the elevator down for obvious reasons. Start walking south from Franklin; if you pass the movie theater you've gone too far. Just look for the "Your collar must be THIS high to enter" sign.

Strengths: TotH contains its own brewery where they make some excellent beers, in particular their IPA. If you can find a place to sit down outside, you get a great view of Franklin Street and its bumbling population.

Weaknesses: As my fellow rising 2Ls know, my personal boycott of TotH has been running strong for several months now. While the reasons are as varied as the shades of pink shirts inside, let me just say that if you do not like the preppy, popped-collar frat crowd, you will NOT like TotH. The sad part is that if there were no other customers it'd be a great place to go, but as it stands it's the symbol of every negative stereotype of UNC students one can imagine. There's also an interesting race between the girls and guys to see who can wear the shorter skirts/shorts which I don't quite understand but find amusing nonetheless. By the end of your semester, you will either love or hate this place. Guess which one I chose!

Drinks: 4/5; Atmosphere: 0/5; Service: 4/5; Overall 0/5. I will pay you money not to support this place.

LINDA'S

Location: At the far eastern end of Franklin, right before McCalister's. Note there's an upstairs and a downstairs.

Strengths: ORDER THE CHEESE FRIES. I've lived in CH for five years now and this is the best food available. They prepare a huge basket of fries, smother them with cheese and bacon, serve them with a nice side of ranch and let you rock and roll. I've had nights here turn very sour because I paid more attention to the cheese fries than my date, but even worse is that I knew I made the right decision. Linda's also has good beer specials and a friendly atmosphere. Go there on slow nights and they'll play some great music; last time I was present they played entire albums by Tom Petty and Nine Inch Nails.

Weaknesses: Like many of the bars in Chapel Hill, Linda's usually has two bartenders: a very attractive one who brings in the customers, and one who actually has some skill in preparing drinks. Make sure you order from the right one.

Drinks: 3/5; Atmosphere: 5/5; Service: 3/5; Overall: 5/5. One of my favorite bars on Franklin.

LUCY'S

Location: Down Henderson St (connecting Rosemary and Franklin) closer to Rosemary.

Strengths: Lucy's has the best 80s nights outside of any place in CH not named Cat's Cradle. The bar staff is usually friendly and (more importantly) quick with your drinks. Like Goldie's, Lucy's has an outside area which is perfect for nice nights, but it's pretty small and tends to get crowded.

Weaknesses: The crowd at Lucy's mirrors what you might find at a place like Goldie's, which might seem stuck up if you're a socially conscious person. Also, it's a small place so it can be a tight fit on party nights. Finally, they typically require a cover even when no band is playing and no drink specials are offered. wtf mates?!

Drinks: 3/5; Atmosphere: 3/5; Service: 4/5; Overall: 3/5. If it weren't for 80s night, Lucy's would seem redundant.

WOODY'S

Location: The blue-lighted bar near the intersection of E Franklin and Henderson, adjacent to the post office. The PO is easy to spot - just look for the emo/goth high schoolers hanging out in front talking about how much they want to be vampires.

Strengths: Woody's is primarily a sports bar and for that purpose it works well. It's quite spacious and there are lots of places to sit and TVs to watch, so crowding isn't an issue except during bball season. It also serves greasy bar food at modest prices.

Weaknesses: Surprisingly, the drinks aren't that great (even the beer, which is often flat) and they tend to overcharge even on specials. Also, you'll occasionally run into one heavily inebriated fan of a random sports team who sits alone at a table, decorated in his team's gear, shouting and hollering after every first down, dunk, etc. Really, it'd be amusing if it wasn't so damn annoying. Make sure to get a seat early on game day.

Drinks: 2/5; Atmosphere: 4/5; Service: 2/5; Overall: 3/5. Going to Woody's gives me one. (Okay, it doesn't, but how often can you use that joke?)

THE LIBRARY:

Location: Near the corner of Franklin and Columbia on the south side of the street (most bars are on the north).

Strengths: For the most part the Library is an unremarkable bar. It's biggest asset that I've found is it gives you the ability to say to yourself "I'm spending time at the library tonight" while you're double-fisting Sam Adams. Other than that, the bartending staff is usually really nice and they seem to run a lot of promos there through which you can get t-shirts and other neat stuff.

Weaknesses: No major problems, but some nights I walk by and the the music is absolutely BLARING from inside. It gives the place a sort of ghetto ambience [have those two words ever been put together before? I submit that they have not] which some might not enjoy.

Drinks: 3/5; Atmosphere: 3/5; Service: 5/5; Overall: 3/5. Much more fun than drinking in the law library.

GOODFELLAS

Location: About half a block down East Franklin. Note that you'll have to walk down some steps to get to it, which is a great omen. I have a theory that, for bars in CH, if you have to walk downstairs to get to it, it's going to be good; conversely, if you have to walk upstairs, it's going to suck. The science behind this theory is obviously rock solid.

Strengths: I really like the atmosphere in Goodfellas. It's got that quaint pub sort of feeling and it attracts a somewhat older crowd usually. They usually have decent drink specials and the bartenders are more than competent.

Weaknesses: Goodfellas doesn't really have any glaring weaknesses other than the inevitable crowding than plagues most bars on East Franklin on busy nights. I was actually banned there for a short while during my undergrad years (long story, don't ask unless you really want to know) but now that it's under new ownership I'm back in business!

Drinks: 4/5; Atmosphere: 4/5; Service: 4/5; Overall: 4/5. Even better than the "Goodfeathers" skit from Animaniacs!

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So that's the first installment of my bar review. I intended to cover virtually all of the bars on Franklin eventually but I think we all can agree I spent far too much time on this one, so that's pretty unlikely unless there's a huge demand otherwise. Of course, the best way to assess a bar is to simply pick one and go to it. UNC's Bar Review only hits about a handful of places - Goldie's, Lucy's, Linda's, TotH, The Library, and He's Not (on W Franklin) - so I encourage everyone to do some exploring on your own. Even on Henderson St there are a couple of neat pool and sports bars that I'd recommend.

Hope you all are enjoying your summer. Random thought, but is there anything more annoying than back to school commercials in July? I mean, geez, throw us a frickin' bone here. Anyway, I once again encourage everyone to come out to bar reviews if at all possible, especially if you don't know anyone here yet. I didn't know anyone here at first and now I've got lots of friends, right guys? ...guys? ...hey guys, where are you going...?

Have fun!

-Brian Ernst, rising 2L (pending review of this email)

AIM: FloydianSlip UNC