Australopithecines and a crisis in Detroit

Once upon a time there were some unfortunate, dim brutes that couldn’t adapt to changing conditions and died out. They were well suited to the contemporary environment, but inflexible and hapless when the conditions changed.

Way on way back when there were a set of hominoid species called the australopithecines (just call them cavemen). Shortly thereafter I learned about them when I was an anthropology major. Some of them evolved to be relatively smart and able to adapt to many changing environments (us).

Others of them got really big and really good at chewing on sticks and stuff and didn’t really learn how to do much else.

They became very physically specialized and dependant on a very particular set of environmental conditions in a way that kept them from changing with the times. To chew the tough foods of the African savannah, they developed big jaws but small brains.

We, however, developed bigger brains that helped us come up with primitive yet versatile tools…. No, we aren’t physically all that spiffy. To be exact, on the grand scale of lions, tigers, and bears, we’re really pretty pathetic. We don’t have horns or hooves or sharp teeth, and aside from our brains we don’t really have a chance. But these wonderful, adaptable brains enabled us to survive and explore or environment using fire, and spears, and rocketships to the moon, and clearcutting of rainforests….

Instead of big teeth for chewing on hyena carcasses, we became smart enough to build blenders. Now we can drink that hyena carcass through a straw. That’s progress.

But when the climate changed our big dumb hominoid cousins couldn’t just make a different tool. They weren’t able to adapt quickly enough. When the climate got cold and they ran out of stuff to happily chew on, they died. We, instead, invented microwaves.

Mmmm…. warm hyena.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, according to the Creationists, and we get to the American automobile agency and its australopithecines/SUVs. Back in the day when gasoline were a cheap as the blood of Arab children, what did it matter if we only got eight miles to the gallon? We could have cared, but, eh… we didn’t want to.

Now suddenly gas prices have been in the news and we’re concerned about the environment and Detroit can’t keep up with change and an old anthropology major just couldn’t help take note….

Once upon a time there were some unfortunate, dim brutes that couldn’t adapt to changing conditions and died out?