Death Penalty Project Student Volunteer Takes Group Name Literally

"Ooops.”

"I mean, I thought the group name was…. Oh, my,” said first year law student Sandra Ginsburg, standing over recently death-penaltied Chris Holstein.

Holstein, a Chapel Hill resident, had beaten the rap for three homicides, four rapes, and bestiality in a school zone but didn’t get past Ginsburg one recent afternoon when she knocked on his door and he opened it, thinking she was another Obama volunteer.

“Do I still get pro bono hours?”

Ginsburg was volunteering with UNC Law’s Death Penalty Project, a group that is typically focused on opposing the use of the death penalty, which group leaders explained at their recent meeting, which sleep-deprived Ginsburg slept through.

“I’ve spent three years working to keep Chris out on parole!” bewailed Project President Stephen Roberts upon hearing the news.

“On the other hand, good riddance to bad rubbish.”

"How many more bullets you got?”

Officer A.L. Parker, Chapel Hill Police, praised Ginsburg’s “spirit of American volunteerism” and “involvement with her community.”

“Just think of it as an extreme late term abortion,” said Officer Parker. “I believe Holstein was in his 196th trimester.”

In other news, UNC’s branch of the Domestic Violence Advocacy Project, DVAP, has recently changed its name to the Domestic Violence Action Project.

Ooops.